dear DVR remote

Dear Sweet, Precious DVR Remote,

How do I start? Where do I begin? How does one pay homage to one so fantastically above the rest? Words and phrases just seem to fail, to fall short each time I try to convey my adoration of your abilities. Let’s just say, I love you. How I lived before you I will never understand. You, and you alone, have the power to restore sanity, order and control in a world that is, at best, chaotic.

Life has a way of knocking us down from time to time, kicking us in the crotch, if you will. The days are hectic and long, filled with time clocks, meetings, appointments, agendas and the like . . . . we retreat to our respective homes, surviving the day, sprawling on the couch and begin to lick our wounds and prepare to do it all over again tomorrow, AND THEN WE SEE YOU.

A feeling of warmness covers our body, we tingle in places . . . we pick you up and then you do the rest. With just a click of a button here and there, a smile returns to the face, the eyes begin to light up and my own little world begins to emerge right in front of me. Now, I have the power, you gave that to me. I call the shots. I decide when things happen. Yes, I now control time.

Unfreaking – believable!! I control what happens and when. Live TV?? Only if I say so! “. . .the kick is up and it’s – time for a beverage refill!!” Oh yeah, I’ll watch it when I come back!! I no longer have to watch what the networks want me to watch on the nights they want me to watch it! Saturday Night Live? I think I’ll watch that Tuesday at 6.

I could go on and on, but the point is this, you have given this regular, ordinary guy in Grove City, Ohio a gift that he has been searching for all of his life. You give me something to look forward to. You cause life to make sense again and for that I have to say Thank You. May your batteries always be strong and you sensor continually clean.

In Awe Of You,

Matt